For someone winter is the excuse to wear the favorite ski suit and go play in the snow, but for someone – another reason to complain about the cold. No matter who you are: a lover of the summer heat or scratchy cold jokes from Znayu laugh all.
To show who is the boss, the father of the family was wearing a nametag.
– Life is like a box of chocolates, everyone gets your taste…
– And what flavor did you?
And I with brandy!..
Do not trust a man who claims he is not married and sees you as his future life partner, if you have his phone listed under the name “water”.
If you go to a children’s party, dressed in a pirate costume. And children entertain, and, not one, drinking rum.
– Hello, we are Jehovah’s witnesses. You read the Bible?
– No. We wrote!
The phrase “I am the son of the Prosecutor!” and are unable to scare the bear.
Wife said that I’m not a man but a rag.
I cried and went to mom.
– I stole a purse, shoes and passport.
– And the police go?
– Walked. Not them…
Life hack for all of you who have no time to cook. Once a week, boil a large pot of water, poured it in portioned containers and freeze.
As soon as you boil pasta or rice, you already have boiling water!
If in a dispute with the girl you’re armed only with logic, facts and common sense, you have no chance.
– Izzy, is it true that your wife filed for divorce?
– Yes, but I went to court with the same request.
– Listen, since you all agree with each other, why should you divorce?
Girl in a dark alley in the wrong cans and cured maniac from the cold…
The doctor beneficial when you are sick.
Attorney well when you are in trouble.
The police are happy, if you were a criminal.
Mechanic is happy, when your car broke down.
And only a thief wishes you carelessness and prosperity!
– You can now leave work a few minutes early?
– How much?
Children who can explain me the word “chronicler”?
The second graders unanimously assured Maria Ivanovna, “the summer is over… Really.”