Saturday , July 20 2019
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Laughter for Breakfast: fresh collection of funny jokes

Смех на завтрак: свежая подборка веселых анекдотовLaugh heartily.

For someone winter is the excuse to wear the favorite ski suit and go play in the snow, but for someone – another reason to complain about the cold. No matter who you are: a lover of the summer heat or scratchy cold jokes from Znayu laugh all.

To show who is the boss, the father of the family was wearing a nametag.

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– Life is like a box of chocolates, everyone gets your taste…

– And what flavor did you?

– Disappointment.

And I with brandy!..

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Do not trust a man who claims he is not married and sees you as his future life partner, if you have his phone listed under the name “water”.

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If you go to a children’s party, dressed in a pirate costume. And children entertain, and, not one, drinking rum.

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In Odessa:

– Hello, we are Jehovah’s witnesses. You read the Bible?

– No. We wrote!

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The phrase “I am the son of the Prosecutor!” and are unable to scare the bear.

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Wife said that I’m not a man but a rag.

I cried and went to mom.

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– I stole a purse, shoes and passport.

– And the police go?

– Walked. Not them…

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Life hack for all of you who have no time to cook. Once a week, boil a large pot of water, poured it in portioned containers and freeze.

As soon as you boil pasta or rice, you already have boiling water!

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If in a dispute with the girl you’re armed only with logic, facts and common sense, you have no chance.

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In Odessa:

– Izzy, is it true that your wife filed for divorce?

– Yes, but I went to court with the same request.

– Listen, since you all agree with each other, why should you divorce?

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Girl in a dark alley in the wrong cans and cured maniac from the cold…

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The doctor beneficial when you are sick.

Attorney well when you are in trouble.

The police are happy, if you were a criminal.

Mechanic is happy, when your car broke down.

And only a thief wishes you carelessness and prosperity!

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– You can now leave work a few minutes early?

– How much?

– 480.

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Children who can explain me the word “chronicler”?

The second graders unanimously assured Maria Ivanovna, “the summer is over… Really.”

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