Monday , June 17 2019
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Good morning: a portion of great jokes for all occasions

С добрым утром: порция отличных анекдотов на все случаи жизниHow can you not laugh!

For someone winter is the excuse to wear the favorite ski suit and go play in the snow, but for someone – another reason to complain about the cold. No matter who you are: a lover of the summer heat or squeaky cold, our jokes will amuse all. Through this collection, you will feel like you already came the Christmas holidays and there is no need to rush.


A little upset when you find out that your three-year salary someone is on hand…


– Hello!


– Oh, I think I got the wrong number. You have any?


– Uh-uh no, not wrong!


Women’s phrase “I lingerie shoot” before the wedding and after the wedding means completely different things.


Hey! Question: “do You know how to cook?”

– Well, potatoes, pasta. The soup can… And you with Masha quarreled?

– No. It is, of course, a great cook, but I’m afraid the hole in the muffler it will not do.


In the morning, eat sandwiches with caviar, feel – life is good!

Next year will plant even more zucchini…


Cashier know that you’re an adult, and passport ask to make fun of your picture.


The optimist Kim – Kardashian.

Pessimist Kim Jong-UN.


– That’s what a loyal friend! Yesterday after the party dragged me home, pulled to the sixth floor and passed from hand to hand. Although I live on the ground and not married…


– A young man, and you that a lottery ticket will not buy?

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– No, my beliefs do not allow. I’m a statistician.


In the Odessa Studio.

– You know, SEMA, pants still much more important than the wife! There are many places where you can go without your little Sophie, but it cannot come without pants!


And yet it is a pity that young people couldn’t remember who the Dostoevsky, Herzen, Belinsky!

– Griboedov?! You will see how much more among today’s youth!


I had noticed a future husband… Tell me what to do with his wife?


The great Einstein was the first to understand that time flows differently. Although all felt that the work week is one thing, but a week binge is another.


The conversation of two arrested criminals:

– Do you believe a legal error?

– Of course. I was three times acquitted in court.

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